The Unlikely Hero
by Quetzal1
Summary: Because the Autobots should have at least one doofus on their team, too.
1. Chapter 1

Author's note: Hi. Here's something out of the ordinary for me: a story about the good guys. This one is meant to read like one of the G1 episodes. I'm going for more humor and less realism than I usually do and I'll try to have it no longer than three chapters.

The Unlikely Hero  
By: Quetzal

Chapter 1

xxxxx

Prowl wasn't sure how he was going to break the news. They needed some help, but this was not what anyone had in mind. He stared at the information on the small screen before rubbing a hand across his faceplate in irritation and resignation.

"Oh man, that's bad. I don't envy you," Jazz said, after strolling up and reading over Prowl's shoulder.

"It's going to be your problem too, you know."

"Yes, I know, but I was talking about when you tell Ironhide and Optimus."

"Please don't remind me. Ironhide's gonna blow half his circuits and a gasket when he finds out."

"Finds out what?" Ironhide asked as he entered the room.

Frag. Prowl was hoping for a way to break the news gently. So much for that. "See for yourself," he said gesturing at the small screen.

"Cheer up Prowl. It can't be that bad," Ironhide chuckled as he came over to see what the big deal was.

He maintained his easygoing demeanor for a few more seconds until the information was processed. His expression suddenly fell.

"Aw, no. This is all we need." And then turning to the security chief, "Can't you do something about it? Stop it somehow?"

"It's too late. They're already on their way and we need all the help we can get."

The defense of Earth was becoming more and more difficult. The Decepticons were getting smarter and harder to fight and worst of all, there were more of them. If they got the advantage of numbers they might be impossible to stop and so they had requested reinforcements. The list that was transmitted to Prowl had looked good. Initially, that is. The names were familiar. There was Powerglide, Seaspray, Windcharger, Warpath and … Wingnut.

Wingnut had been a neutral at first but joined up with the Autobots when it became apparent that the Decepticons meant business and proved their intent by destroying several small cities on Cybertron. His spark was in the right place and the mech was easy going and agreeable, the first to volunteer and the last to complain. None of them tried harder. The problem was, he was a total screw up. No one knew of anything that he was good at. His involvement with any project all but guaranteed multiple problems and potential failure or at least huge delays. And now he was coming to Earth.

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"These are great!" Spike said. The human was perched on top of a rock that brought him to the proper height to peer through the lenses of a device that was small (by giant robot standards) but powerful. The scope could function like a regular telescope, but also had a night vision setting as well as x-ray ability.

Spike and Bumblebee were high atop the mountain at whose base the Ark had come to rest centuries ago, thinking it a good spot to test Wheeljack's latest invention. One could see for miles in any direction and it was a beautiful day. Things had been quiet lately too, except for the new Autobots showing up. They had each come to Earth in a different area and as secretly as they could manage. The humans knew about the Autobots, generally speaking of course, and would welcome any new members of their faction, but Prowl suggested that they maintain stealth so that the Decepticons would remain unaware of their presence. It would be great to suddenly even the odds without those creeps seeing it coming. All the new additions had chosen well when it came to alternate modes. They blended in and no one would notice them or suspect what they really were.

Bumblebee, whose optics were extremely sharp, caught a quick wink of light on the eastern horizon.

"Hey Spike, what do you see at 30 degrees east?"

The boy spun the scope around, carefully maintaining his balance upon the boulder and then peered through the large eyepiece. He could nearly fit his entire head in it. A simple push of a button switched the view from x-ray to normal and it took only a couple of seconds to locate what the mech was asking about. At first it was hard to see because it was kicking up a big cloud of dust as it headed straight toward their location, then the breeze shifted, revealing the incoming vehicle. This surely wasn't an Autobot, but he couldn't be certain.

"What is it?" Bumblebee asked when he saw the human frown in confusion.

"It looks like a…." He leaned forward and had another peek, as though to confirm for himself what he was about to say.

"Like a what?"

"Like a pimpmobile."

The mech glanced at him curiously. Was that something dangerous?

"Here, check it out," Spike said, gesturing at the scope and moving back.

The Autobot scout followed the suggestion. The dust was obscuring the vehicle again and then it blew back to reveal a large, low slung, red car. A quick run through of his internal database told him that it was known as a Lincoln Continental Mark IV, Earth year 1976. The color was extremely bright. Several of their group were red, but not like this. In the sunlight it would be almost painful for a human to look at. It was sporting a white vinyl half top with a large sunroof. Wire chrome wheels glinted in the light and upon closer inspection Bumblebee noted that the interior was upholstered in a fuzzy fabric that resembled the fur of a leopard. Completing the stylish accessories was a continental kit mounted on the trunk where there was ordinarily a rounded protrusion common to that make and model.

"Do you recognize it?" Spike asked.

"Nope. We better get down there in case it's trouble." The mech gently picked up his human companion and then descended the mountain in leap and bounds, getting to the entrance of their headquarters only seconds ahead of the mystery car.

The duo was joined by several Autobots who were alerted to the new arrival by Teletraan 1. The car advanced closer before locking its brakes, causing the rear to slew sideways and fling loose stones at the mechs gathered.

"Sorry about that guys!" It said in a friendly voice. "I haven't quite gotten the hang of this new alt mode." The car began the process of transformation.

"I should have known," Spike heard Ironhide grumble.

Standing before them now was a mech of average size and happy demeanor. No one spoke at first.

"How you doin' Wingnut?" Jazz said, trying to lighten the mood and drop a giant hint to the others to mind their manners.

"Good, Jazz. I wasn't sure I was going to be able to find you guys at first, but here I am."

"Yeah, here you are." Ironhide said, trying for welcoming and not sounding very convincing to those who knew his real feelings.

"That's a flashy disguise you've got there," Sunstreaker said, not liking anyone to be showier than him.

"You don't think it's too much do you? I found the car I borrowed it from behind a police station. I didn't know why they would have it but if the authorities liked it, it seemed like a good idea."

"It was just sittin' there?" Wheeljack asked.

"Yeah, it was in a big fenced yard with some other cars and vehicles. The sign said it was an impound lot, whatever that is."

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All the new arrivals settled in quickly and took up their assignments with hardly a hitch. Except Wingnut. No one wanted to be saddled with the task of being partnered with him full time, so he was regularly pawned off on someone different as soon as his current colleague would reach the limits of their patience. Though to their credit, they would do it in a way that made it appear routine so as not to hurt his feelings. Ratchet was in the midst of adding to the sensor array inside the Ark and routing the various connections into Teletraan 1. Nearby, he had assigned Wingnut to hold a light to illuminate the interior of the area where the main connector panel was located.

"Ratchet, could I talk to you a minute?" Gears asked as he leaned around the edge of the doorway.

The medic looked up from his work. "Sure," he said, and then to assistant: "Sit tight, I'll be right back. And don't touch any of those wires, you could get a nasty shock." He immediately regretted that second part as soon as he said it and Wingnut's expression fell.

Earlier in the week he had accidentally electrocuted Wheeljack. The jolt had only scrambled the inventor's circuits for a few minutes but he'd been pretty mad. He was working on one of his latest gadgets and had assigned Wingnut to stand by the main power supply to activate it when he was told to do so. Wheeljack often talked to himself as he worked and forgot how literal the other Autobot could be, so when he tried to say to himself, "Now, let's see what we've got here," he got no further than 'Now' because the high voltage was applied and knocked him into a wall. The other mech had felt terrible and was extremely upset until it was clear that his friend would be okay. He had gone on to work with Ironhide and then Gears before being assigned to Ratchet.

"What's up?"

The smaller mech motioned to him to continue down the hallway and away from the door before speaking. "Some of us are gonna go talk to Prime about Wingnut," he said quietly.

"I don't know."

"What is there not to know?"

"He isn't a bad guy."

"I know, I know, but we can't keep going on like this."

Ratchet considered. Nothing bad had happened to him yet, but it could be he was merely lucky. "Alright. Let's go." Perhaps he could keep the others from suggesting anything too radical.

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"He only shot me in the aft side at low power, but still, it could have been more serious," Ironhide groused.

"Yeah, like when he knocked me off that cliff and into the river. If Hoist hadn't been there, who knows how far I would have gone," Gears added.

"And I cause enough damage to myself, I don't need him zapping me," said Wheeljack. Other Autobots jumped in and soon it was a cacophony of overlapping voices.

"Quiet, all of you," Optimus Prime said. Seldom did he ever have to raise his voice. "You're forgetting that he is one of us. There is a place for anyone who wants to fight Decepticon tyranny, we just have to find his." He gave them all a stern gaze. Bumblebee hadn't joined in the complaining and neither had Ratchet. "Bumblebee, what do you think?"

The small, yellow mech appeared uncomfortable when everyone turned to look at him expectantly. "I don't know. I think he has to be good at _something_. Has anyone ever asked him what he's interested in?" The other mechs all glanced at one another but said nothing.

"Yeah, but can't we put him someplace where he can't do any more damage while we figure it out?" Ironhide asked. "I don't need our guys shooting at me, the Decepticons are enough."

xxxxx

Ratchet was smart, but what he was doing didn't seem so hard, Wingnut thought. There were only a couple of wires left to connect and then the task was finished. It was dull waiting around. Hey! Maybe he could do them both a favor by hooking up those remaining wires. Ratchet had told him not to touch it, but he'd be careful. And wouldn't the others be impressed! Now and then he got the idea they didn't think he was too bright.

xxxxx

"What about you, Ratchet?" Prime asked, ignoring Ironhide.

"So far it's going okay. In fact, I think you guys might be overreacting a little and…" The medic trailed off as an alarm began blaring and fire retardant foam started to jet from outlets in the ceiling.

"You were saying?" Gears asked smugly.

The Autobot leader tried to maintain his dignity as the foam sprayed down from directly overhead, coating him thoroughly and making him resemble a giant Christmas ornament of some kind.

"Alright. I'll see what I can do," he said.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's note: Here's chapter 2 finally. I find writing for the good guys (and keeping it short) is harder than the other stuff I've been doing. Anyway, I tried to get everything explained without going on and on, but this is supposed to read like a lost episode or something. Goodness knows there were plenty of wtf? moments in the old show. Next time is the last chapter and it'll really get silly then. One more thing, you may be well aware of this but just incase you aren't…. In the past, some TV stations went off the air at around midnight or 2AM or thereabouts. This was still happening in the 80's. Some of them might still do it, I don't know. The national anthem was played while some patriotic looking video was shown. Then it was a test pattern or color bars and that annoying continuous tone until the next morning. Okay, enough history. Enjoy, and thanks for reading.

The Unlikely Hero  
By Quetzal

Chapter 2

The underground monitoring station wasn't the cheeriest of places. There were plenty of lights in the large passage to the surface and the main chamber was well lit at the lower portion but still dark at ceiling level. It was like a big tomb in some ways. Ironhide wasn't one to let his imagination get the better of him and he was much too busy to spare the processor function on such things. As he worked, he almost felt guilty about his enthusiasm. Almost.

xxx

Wheeljack had remembered his plans for an early warning system as they were removing the mess created by the fire suppression system. The inventor was constantly coming up with various ideas, some more inspired than others, but then immediate need of one gadget or another would temporarily supplant them. Sometimes it was months before he got back to it. He had mentioned it before and Prowl immediately recalled the proposal when it was brought up. Then the two of them (who were joined by the others as soon as they saw the potential) had ganged up on Optimus to get his approval to start work immediately.

The Autobot leader was hesitant. The system was a good idea, but he didn't want to use it as a means to shun Wingnut. Still, perhaps it would be best to get him away from the others and give them a chance to settle down. If he were integrated into the group gradually it might go better. This job could be just the thing for the mech. He was observant and didn't have a problem staying focused. If it were to boost his confidence it could make him less prone to the kinds of mistakes the others were complaining about. And in turn, if he demonstrated the ability to contribute in a meaningful way, the others would hopefully become more accepting of him.

The okay was given, but it was made very clear that although the new station would be manned primarily by Wingnut, they would occasionally relieve him and someone would check in, in person, at least twice daily.

xxx

With everyone pitching in, the installation went quickly. Wheeljack, Ratchet and Sparkplug had installed the control panel and the power source. Ironhide was dropping off the last of the odds and ends that might be required when one was going to spend a long stretches of time in one place. He placed the items to one side. Wingnut could figure out what he wanted to do with them tonight after he received his training. Personnel issues aside, it really was a great idea and he was surprised someone hadn't thought of it sooner. Their headquarters was now ringed with a collection of sensors. The perimeter was beyond Teletraan 1's range and now the computer could be freed up for other matters. There was also the benefit of early warning, provided it all went right.

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Ravage watched in silence, which was what he did best. The mechanoid cat was hidden on a high hill in the shadows of a dead tree and some scrubby plants that dotted the landscape. He was gradually working his way toward Autobot headquarters as part of routine spy mission when he encountered the enemy.

The one called Wheeljack was standing with one of the disgusting fleshies that assisted them. They had tools spread around and appeared to be performing maintenance on a rock. That made no sense. Ravage silently crept closer until he was able to make out the conversation and record it.

"That's the last one," Wheeljack said.

"This is a great idea," Sparkplug said. "But what's going to keep every little thing that passes through the sensor ring from tripping the alarm?"

"I thought of that. We don't want the thing going off whenever a bird flies by or a coyote or somethin' wanders too close, so I fine tuned them. They won't make a peep unless a 'bot or a large human breaks the beam."

"This will be great. The next time the Decepticons show up we'll be even more ready for them."

"I hope. First, it has to pass testing tonight. C'mon, lets go to the control center and see if we can bring it all on-line."

Ravage remained still as the pair packed up their equipment and then the Autobot transformed and sped away with the human. They did not go in a direction that would take them to the Ark. This control center must be in a different location. Once the engine noise was no longer discernable, he slunk down to investigate. What was so special about the rock? It took only seconds for him to locate the sensor. The shiny oval surface looked like some odd gem embedded in the stone. Interesting. Now to track the Autobot and find the control center. The cat leaped away from the rock and began to run. His sensors easily tracked the trail left by his enemy. Once his objective was located, he would advise Soundwave of his discovery. Megatron would be very pleased with them both.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"You're right, this isn't that hard at all," Wingnut said happily. The initial project sounded difficult when it was first described to him and he'd been afraid it would be too much to handle.

He was flanked by Ratchet and Prowl. The rest of the Autobots were sneaking about and trying to cross the barrier without being detected, a few utilizing jet packs to go airborne. The three of them watched as the indicators for various sensors lit up. When the beam was broken, a red light labeled for that particular sensor came on and stayed on until a reset button was pushed, otherwise a green light was on. If the reset wasn't activated within a set time parameter, an audible alarm went off, which had its own reset. If one of the sensors was tripped, all the operator had to do was contact HQ with its location and someone would investigate immediately.

"I told you. Nothing to it," Ratchet said. "Are you ready to try it on your own?"

"I think so."

"Are you sure?" Prowl asked. He was glad to get the benefits of the new security device, but wasn't certain that they had the best candidate manning the controls.

"I have to start sometime, right?"

"Okay then. Wheeljack and I will be back out tomorrow and make any last adjustments." Ratchet said.

"Call if you need anything," Prowl added as they headed for the short tunnel to the surface.

"Okay," Wingnut said, and then he was all alone with a big responsibility. The mech sat down to look over the equipment. The long row of green lights glowed brightly, further reassuring him.

"I can do this," he said quietly. "I won't glitch it up." After his last big mistake with the fire suppression system, it was painfully obvious that the others were not happy with him at all. Apologizing didn't seem to help. During the entire cleanup (and it was a big one,) no one said much to him except for Prime and Bumblebee. And now he was out here. It didn't feel like punishment, exactly. It actually was a responsible position but he didn't miss the way everyone else appeared to perk up the closer the time came for him to take his place here in the control center. He'd show them! He'd be the best sentry ever. Nothing would get past his optics.

He peered around the room where he would be spending many cycles in the future. It was big, mostly empty, kind of dull and perhaps a bit…creepy. When he had a cycle off, he'd have to see about obtaining some items to make the place less boring. Ah well, he was here to do a job, he reminded himself. It wasn't supposed to be fun. Still though, the company of another mech or one of the humans would be nice.

Unbeknownst to him, he had company already. From the blackness of a ventilation duct, Ratbat watched every move that was made in the expanse below him.

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None of the Decepticons recalled seeing that particular mech before and Ratbat's position far above and to the back and side didn't aid identification. No matter. This unidentified Autobot could have the distinction of being the lone survivor, temporarily of course.

"Excellent," Megatron said, watching the image Ratbat was transmitting back to their headquarters.

Things were going wonderfully. Ravage had discovered the new Autobot perimeter alarm and the control center for it. During the simulated infiltration it had been easy to join a group of mechs and gain access to the area. Under cover of darkness and at a proper altitude Ratbat had swept across the border as a group of Autobots did likewise on the ground. Ravage snuck past undetected as well and found a hiding place away from the action. No one was any the wiser. Once his objective was located, Ratbat silently glided his way down the hall and up to ceiling height where he was able to locate a ventilation duct and secret himself away. The Autobots were so engrossed in their task they didn't notice him. Yes, all was as it should be but not everyone was happy.

"So what? The Autobots have a new toy," Starscream said. "Now that we know about it, why not attack them tonight? That lone 'bot will just think they're conducting more tests."

"No, it is too soon. They will still be on the alert. We must give them an opportunity to become more complacent and to find out what sort of routine they have at this new facility."

"That kind of hesitation is what causes defeat," the seeker challenged.

"And that kind of insubordination is what causes deactivation," Megatron said.

Starscream only gave him a sullen glare and said nothing more, for once deciding it was wiser to stay quiet.

"Patience. Ratbat and Ravage can stay in their positions for several cycles. That should be all the time we need to implement my plan."

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The monitoring station was much more homey with the addition of a radio and television. Eventually they would install a decoder and then it would be possible to get satellite broadcasts on the communications console but in the meantime he made do with a small TV set that couldn't receive many channels. Wingnut found the broadcasts very educational when it came to learning about his new home. Plus, and he didn't mention this to anyone, it made it a lot less creepy, especially at night. In a couple of cycles, work was due to begin on a security system for the facility itself. Really, the station was far enough away from the sensors that if one alerted him to an intruder, somebody from HQ would be on them so fast they would never have a chance to get close to him.

All the final adjustments were completed and he was now watching the large perimeter in earnest. When they added the finishing touches, the sensors were tripped multiple times prompting him to alert headquarters. In each instance he was informed that it was Wheeljack or Ratchet or whoever. It would have been nice if they'd told him in advance. When it happened at 3 AM he began to get annoyed. They were obviously testing him. Yes, they were machines and could go for days with no recharge or energon, but who went out to do maintenance on a far flung sensor at 3 AM? There was no other reason.

Ha! Wingnut thought. They would have to do better than that. Nothing was going to get past him. And nothing did. Eventually things settled into a regular pattern.

It wasn't a demanding job, but he was patient and didn't mind his own company. He received regular visits at least twice a day from the others, usually whoever was on patrol. Bumblebee and Spike came by regularly. He liked them. The little yellow mech was fun and usually thought of something interesting to do, and the human was always ready to answer his many questions gathered from long hours of radio. He was getting so used to his routine that he wasn't sure what he would do with himself when he was off duty for a couple of cycles.

The credits for his favorite late night show began to roll up the screen. Drat. Now the station would be going off the air until morning. He would have to find something else to watch or do. As he turned and rose from his chair, there was a loud clanging out in the hall and he saw a rock bounce past the doorway.

"Who's there?" Wingnut called. Silence.

He was suddenly very uneasy. That was dumb, though, he reminded himself. It was probably just one of the others playing a prank.

"Guys?" He called, quietly moving toward the door. His hand went to his side to rest upon the laser there. He didn't want to draw it yet. It had to be someone messing with him and if he were spotted with the weapon in hand, he would look like what the humans called a 'scaredy-cat.' The mech listened hard before entering the hall. A quiet, scuffling sound was heard and then… a pitable cry. A careful peek around the doorway revealed a small, dark shape at the top of the hall where it opened out onto the surface. It was an animal silhouetted against the night sky. In the darkness he couldn't see it well enough to discern what type, but it was hobbling about as though injured.

"Hey there," Wingnut said in a cautious but friendly tone. The animal didn't move so he began to edge toward it.

xxx

_Initiating operations_, Ravage transmitted to Soundwave.

_Affirmative_, came the reply that no one but the mechanoid cat heard. Soundwave would coordinate the entire strike. His cassettes were once again proving invaluable and Soundwave himself was chosen for his intense powers of concentration. During an operation so complicated and risky as this, it was important not to be distracted by anything…like a member of your team complaining non-stop.

"This is ridiculous," Starscream groused.

Here we go again, Thundercracker thought. Bad enough to lose what was supposed to be a cycle off, but now he had to spend it listening to this nonsense. The two of them were there to serve as backup should the plan go awry and although he wasn't pleased to be there, he had sense enough to keep his vocalizers quiet about it, especially around Soundwave. His wingmate, however, didn't seem to care.

"If _I_ were in charge we would already be in possession of the Ark and the Autobots would be finished."

"Yeah, but you aren't so why not do the job and quit your complaining?"

"And I mean all of them. It makes no sense to leave a survivor." The Air Commander was appalled at the idea that they would leave the mech who was supposed to be manning the control center for the monitors alive. It was just more of Megatron's egotism at work.

"Hey it's not my job or yours either to question orders," Thundercracker replied. If word of this discussion got back to headquarters he wanted to be firmly on the correct side.

" 'We will leave the control center untouched,' " Starscream said, but in a deeper voice than his usual screech. He also began to strut around in an exaggerated manner. It was his Megatron impression that he pulled out whenever he was feeling especially frustrated. Thundercracker managed not to laugh and he was glad for the darkness that hid the fact that he could not keep a straight face. Sometimes ol' Screamer was so slagging funny.

" 'and humiliate our enemy by showing them how Decepticon wile can overcome any Autobot technology! Ha, ha haaaaaa--- ' "

"Silence!" Soundwave interrupted, the noise disturbing even his focus. Ravage had managed to lure the Autobot away from the bunker and things were about to become more involved.

xxx

Ratbat received word to stand by. He slid out of the ventilation duct and glided down toward the control panel with its long bank of green lights. Soon Rumble would be crossing the perimeter and it was his responsibility to reset the indicator before the alarm went off incase the Autobot was still close enough to hear it. He flapped his wings and awkwardly hovered, waiting.

_In position_, he informed shockwave.

Then he saw it: the seventh indicator from the right lit up a bright red as its green counterpart went out. He moved to the side and plopped down on the console before jabbing the reset button with his snout.

_Alarm neutralized_, he transmitted.

xxx

Rumble wasn't worried about encountering any resistance. He knew were he was going and overhead Laserbeak was escorting him. Once he got to his objective, the raptor would find Ravage and assist him if necessary while the rest of the plan was put into motion. It didn't take long to find the opening that sloped downward into the ground and the small mech didn't hesitate but kept running at full speed. There was only one big room so he didn't have to search. Ratbat was perched on the back of a chair near the console and gave Rumble a reproachful shriek as he charged into the room.

"What're ya squawkin' about? I got here as quick as I could," Rumble said. "Which one is it?"

Ratbat spread one wing until the tip was pointing at the correct light.

"Okay, this shouldn't be too hard." The mech found the latches that secured an access panel. With the panel out of his way he could see all the wiring for the internal workings. Everything was neatly labeled for ease of maintenance but it also made the Decepticon's job easier. He quickly snipped the wires that connected that sensor to the alarm... he hoped.

_I cut the alarm wires. Try it out,_ he advised Soundwave.

_Stand by_. Soundwave replied as he walked past the invisible border, tripping the sensor.

Rumble saw the red light come on and immediately set about reversing the connection between it and its green counterpart while waiting to find out if the audible alarm was going to go off. It would have gone faster if he hadn't been throwing occasional cautious glances over his shoulder. The alarm didn't sound, and in less than a minute, he had finished his task. The green light was back on. That particular section of the perimeter was now an open door. They could cross back and forth there all day and no one in here would have a clue.

"Alright, let's get out of here," Rumble said as he placed the access panel back in its spot. Ratbat screeched in agreement and launched himself toward the door.

xxx

_Ravage, Laserbeak, return._

Ravage was relieved to hear the command. Now all he had to do was escape this do-gooder with the subterfuge still in tact. Oh, but it would be so much fun to attack this idiot and teach him why it's best to mind your own business. No, no, that was out of the question. Besides, his escape route was nearby.

xxx

Injured though it may be, this animal was still pretty fast. It limped away, staying far enough ahead to prevent Wingnut from getting a good view of it. It was still whimpering and in obvious distress. The mech wanted to help. He hadn't been on Earth for long at all but he had quickly developed a fondness for the abundant animal life. After he got settled into his new job he was going to see about getting a dog. The animal stopped to watch him.

"C'mon, I'm you're friend. Maybe I can repair whatever it is that's hurting you," Wingnut pleaded.

Ravage answered him with a sort of yap that was hard for him to manage, given that he usually growled and snarled, before leaping upward and quickly disappearing amongst some rocks and scrub.

The Autobot was disappointed. He had already begun to entertain the possibility of keeping the injured animal as a pet. Geez, and after he'd followed it all this….uh oh. Wingnut turned and was slightly alarmed to discover that his post was far enough behind him that it was out of sight. Frag! He'd been so intent on helping the wounded animal he didn't realize how far he had strayed. He transformed and sprayed the hillside behind him with dirt and gravel as his tires dug into the ground at a great rate of speed. Oh would he be in serious trouble if he was discovered missing from his post without telling anyone. The mere idea was enough to make him go still faster. Soon the opening was in sight and he didn't slow until he was almost to the end of the tunnel. He transformed and slid sideways past the door and had to run back a few paces. Much to his great relief, nothing was amiss. All the indicators were green and there were no alarms.

He was safe this time, but no more fooling around. It was too late at night for a visitor, but what if Prowl or somebody had gotten here first? Or worse, what if something had tripped one of the sensors? The mech had not seen one of the enemy up close and in person, really, only on informational broadcasts or from a very far distance. That would be his luck. No one had seen any Decepticons for weeks but sure as his guard dropped one would show up.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's note: Finally, the end. If I didn't warn you before, this is where is gets silly. There's a little more of this at the end so I don't give anything away. Thanks for reading. I appreciate it. Transformers belongs to Hasbro and Takara, not me.

The Unlikely Hero  
By: Quetzal1

Chapter 3

It had been a long and uneventful day. Most days patrolling the perimeter were like that. Spike supposed that he wouldn't really be of much use against any invaders, should they appear, but hanging around the Ark all day when there wasn't much else going on didn't feel particularly useful. And besides, as the Autobots said, two sets of optics were better than one. No one had called them and nothing had happened. Soon these patrols would end, but no one was quite ready to take that step yet. Now that his shift was over, Spike was considering going into town for a burger and then a few rounds of videogames at the arcade.

The only warning he received that his plans were about to radically change was a confused and startled "Hey!" from Bumblebee. Before he could ask what was up, streaks of laserfire were coming toward them and the world spun crazily as the Autobot locked his brakes and executed a perfect one-eighty on the loose dirt.

"What is it?"

"Decepticons!"

The boy twisted in his seat to stare out the rear window. The entrance to the Ark was rapidly shrinking but he was able to distinctly make out the shapes of Thundercracker and Skywarp. He held his breath waiting to see if they would give chase. It wasn't easy to do as Bumblebee was zipping from side to side in an irregular pattern to dodge the shots coming at them while trying to find cover. The yellow Autobot soon put a safe distance between himself and the enemy.

"What's going on? Where is everybody?" Spike asked helplessly.

"I don't know. I can't get anyone on the communicator. They must be jamming it." Bumblebee replied, sounding none too steady himself.

"And how did those guys get close enough to attack?"

"They must have gotten Wingnut first."

"No way. He watched those monitors like a hawk."

"We'll find out. That's where we're headed now. Maybe we can get some answers."

* * *

It was an important job. But although it carried a great responsibility, that didn't mean it wasn't boring now and then. 'Like watching grass grow,' the humans said. When he got to feeling this way, that was a sure sign it was getting close to time for him to have a couple of cycles off. He never knew who was going to relieve him until they showed up. Unfortunately, that wouldn't happen for another 13 Earth hours. He leaned back in his chair, and then nearly fell out of it when a voice startled him.

"Wingnut?" It was Bumblebee, followed closely by Spike. The small Autobot had a weapon in hand and appeared honestly surprised to find his compatriot alive and well and exactly where he was supposed to be.

"Hi guys! What's with the blaster?" Wingnut asked.

"You don't know? Headquarters has been taken over by Decepticons," Spike said.

"That's impossible. I've been sitting here and it's been completely quiet."

"And I'm telling you we're lucky to be here. Those guys almost got us when we came back in after patrol," Bumblebee replied.

Saying nothing further, Wingnut turned and tapped a button on the console. The monitor returned only static. "Huh," he said.

"All the communications are jammed. We've already tried," Bumblebee said impatiently.

"But I don't understand how this could have happened. I've been right here and…." The red Autobot trailed off mid-sentence and frowned, in deep thought.

"And what?" Bumblebee asked. He didn't care for the troubled expression on the other 'bot.

"Uh, actually, I guess I was wrong. There was a little bit when I wasn't here, but it wasn't long." He gave them a brief version of the events with the wounded animal.

"I'd bet my microchips that was Ravage," Bumblebee said.

"But I wasn't gone long and I had him in sight the whole time," Wingnut said.

"He wouldn't have been working alone and probably had help from Laserbeak or those creeps Rumble and Frenzy."

"_Someone_ was here, all right. Check this out," Spike called from across the room. As Wingnut told his story, the boy decided to search for signs of tampering. He wasn't disappointed. "See that? The alarm wires are cut and the connections for this one light have been switched."

The larger Autobot was horrified. He began to walk in a tight circle, talking rapidly. He wasn't as fast as Blurr, but he wasn't too far off. "Oh no! Oh no! This is all my fault! What am I gonna do? The others are captured or worse! WHAT AM I GONNA DO!"

"We," Bumblebee said calmly. It was enough to get the distraught mech's attention.

"What?"

"We. What are _we_ going to do?"

"But this is my fault and…"

The smaller 'bot interrupted not by speaking but by shaking his head in the negative, a gesture learned from his human friend.

"No, you wouldn't be the first one of us Ravage and those guys have tricked. What we have to do now is find a way to get to the others."

"How do you know that they… that they're okay?"

"C'mon, Wingnut, it'll take more than a bunch of lousy Decepticons to stop them," Spike said.

"Yeah, and Megatron likes to have all the loose ends wrapped up before he makes a move. Right now he still has a few," Bumblebee added.

"Us?" Wingnut asked.

"That's right."

"He's gotta know we're around by now," Spike said. "We better get out of here before they come looking for us."

"Good idea. But where do we go from here?"

"Let's go to my Dad's shop. He was going to be there today to catch up on things. Maybe he can help us figure out what to do."

* * *

"I know we have to do something son, but we can't go rushing in there without a plan," said William "Sparkplug" Witwicky. He had gotten the entire account of what had transpired from Spike and the two Autobots.

"If there were only a way to sneak in there," said Spike.

"Unfortunately, the only way in is through the front door," said Bumblebee.

Wingnut had gone silent. He listened to the others and came up with multiple ideas, rejecting them all without voicing them. And then inspiration came to him in the offhand remark from Bumblebee.

"And you know they'll be expecting us to act." The Autobot scout was surprised to see his comrade suddenly smiling. "What?"

"I think you're right. They'll be waiting for us so why don't we help them out?" Wingnut said, beginning to walk in a circle again.

"What do you mean?" Spike asked.

"It'll be tricky but I think we can make it work. First, we're going to have to get several things." He listed some of the items.

"I know where we can get all that, but what are we doing with it?" Sparkplug asked.

"Yeah, let us in on the secret," said Bumblebee. The other mech wasn't making much sense.

"Okay, here it is…. "

* * *

"I don't see why we're always the ones getting stuck with sentry duty," Skywarp complained.

He and Thundercracker were once again posted outside the entrance to the Ark and the seeker didn't care for it at all.

"You should have thought of that before you put paint pellets in Starscream's metal polish," Thundercracker said. _And I shouldn't have laughed. At least not where he could see me,_ he added mentally.

Skywarp snickered. "It was worth it though. Did you see the look on his face?" During his off cycles he had discovered paint ball. Humans claimed to be peace loving and yet they played games that involved shooting one another. Nevertheless, once he got a closer peek at the ammunition involved he couldn't help but find ways to use it for mischief. All he had to do was teleport himself into the Air Commander's quarters and carefully add the bright green secret ingredient to the polish and then wait for the chaos to ensue.

Unfortunately, he had forgotten that Starscream had little to no sense of humor for such shenanigans. And now, whenever there was any sort of boring or dirty task to be done, Skywarp was usually the one chosen. It wasn't fair. He couldn't help it if Earth was so dull.

"If it was worth it, then quit complaining. And next time you…. " Thundercracker began.

"What is it?"

Rather than reply, Thundercracker merely pointed as if he were stunned into silence.

"Am I seeing things or is that…?" Skywarp asked.

"Yeah, I think it is."

"I don't believe it."

A lone 'bot was walking toward them, towing a car. They both raised their arms, pointing the weapons mounted there at the intruder.

"Don't shoot I'm on your side," she said.

It was a female Autobot. At least they thought so. She was larger than average and rather clunky of build when compared to others they'd seen. Even more interesting was what she had with her. The end of a long, heavy chain was wrapped around one hand and the other end was connected to the bumper of a heavily damaged yellow Volkswagen Beetle with a red Autobot insignia on the hood.

"I'm here to see Megatron. I have something for him," she said, gesturing toward her prisoner with a blaster she held in her other hand.

"Is that that one Autobot. You know… I can never remember his name," Skywarp said.

"Bumblebee," she said, with annoyance. "It is, or what's left of him." The femme placed one foot on the roof of the car and caved it in slightly, causing a rear side window to crack and then bust outward onto the ground.

Thundercracker was impressed. "Is he functional?"

"Yeah, but he can't transform or talk or much else." And then she leaned toward the car and spoke to it "But that's what you get for trying to get away. I told you not to, but no, you didn't listen." Upon standing straight again she delivered a kick to the vehicle that caused the rear end to hop sideways a couple of feet.

The seekers glanced at one another. Holy frag! She might not be much to look at, but they were intrigued nonetheless. But that aside, it didn't entirely add up.

"What's your name, and how come we haven't seen you before?" Thundercracker asked, suspiciously.

In all the preparation for this initial confrontation, Wingnut had managed to neglect that particular detail. He had fabricated fake armor panels, which Spike and Sparkplug had attached, and he made adjustments to his vocal processor in an effort to sound more like a femme (how successful that was, was debatable but it was still better than his real voice) but he hadn't considered a false designation.

"My name? It's uh… Moonfire. And I haven't been here long," He said, simply taking the names of two femmes remaining on Cybertron that he was friendly with, Moonracer and Firestar, and cobbling them together.

"Moonfire, huh?" Skywarp said. "Why are you here? Autobots don't turn on each other."

"I told you I want to see Megatron."

"Why?"

"Because. I'm sick of Optimus Prime and the others making us femmes stay on Cybertron and play it safe."

"The way we hear it, you cause all kinds of problems for Shockwave. That's not being careful," Skywarp said.

"Bah! We're only a petty annoyance at best. I'm sick of hiding and surviving day to day. I want to be on the winning side. If the Autobots won't do what it takes to get the job done, I'll fight with someone who will."

The seekers glanced at one another and then back at the newcomer. So she wanted to see Megatron. That most _definitely_ wasn't playing it safe. Nevertheless, she had a prisoner and it wasn't up to them to decide her fate.

"Alright. Bring that little pest with you and come on," Thundercracker said, taking a kick at the disabled enemy.

"Watch it! I want him alive long enough to hand over to Megatron," said Moonfire, giving Thundercracker a shove.

Yes, she certainly had a reckless streak, Skywarp observed. This ought to be good.

The three 'bots made their way inside the Ark and out of sight. No one was left outside to see when Bumblebee and Sparkplug crept out of their hiding place behind a rock and ran for the entrance.

"I hope this works," said Sparkplug. It was a gross understatement. If it didn't the entire world was going to be in serious hurt. Above all, of course, he was scared for his son. He didn't want to let him do what he did, but there wasn't anyone else. Thus far it had gone better than he had dared to hope. In fact, as he and Bumblebee waited for their chance, he'd been practically ill with worry, feeling certain that Wingnut would get himself blown away within the first few minutes. It would be bad to underestimate the Decepticons but sometimes he felt that he gave them too much credit for intelligence.

"It'll work," said Bumblebee, although he felt less confident than he let on. His best friend and his comrade were taking an enormous risk. If Megatron or any of the others saw through the ruse before they had a chance to enact the second part of their plan, Wingnut was dead. And if none of them figured it out, well, Bumblebee didn't want to think about that, either. It was another kind of risk Wingnut was taking. A gross one at that. Spike was in grave danger too, but he had a better chance of escaping if he could make it into the cell where the others were likely confined. This wasn't the situation for negativity. He and Sparkplug needed to focus.

* * *

Optimus Prime had been in many situations that seemed hopeless, but this was the worst so far. He and the other Autobots were caught completely unaware when the Decepticons had swarmed in upon them, and in short order they had taken over. He didn't know for certain, but assumed the worst regarding Wingnut. How else could they have gotten past? Bumblebee and Spike had been on patrol when the attack came and remained free. He was sure of that because he had heard the commotion when the seekers had shot at them and then the report that they had gotten away. But how would just the two of them take on the enemy in such large numbers? There had to be a way out of this but he didn't see it yet. All of them were confined in a small cell to the side of the command center that housed Teletraan 1. Various Decepticons were standing about, others were rummaging through storage areas for items of interest or value and yet more were trying to get into computer files.

"What's the matter, Prime? You aren't your usual defiant self," Megatron said with mock concern. Oh how he had lived for this day. With the exception of two meaningless soldiers he had all the Autobots at his mercy. "How does it feel to be doomed? To know that…. " He stopped when he saw Thundercracker entering the room and Skywarp lingering hesitantly behind him in the doorway.

"I hope you have a good excuse for this interruption," Megatron said, clearly displeased.

"Yes sir," Thundercracker said. "There's somebody here to see you."

"Why don't you try making sense for a change?"

Instead of attempting to explain, Skywarp stepped aside, yanked the disguised Wingnut into the doorway and then shoved him forward. The room went silent.

Wingnut didn't pause. Better to keep them off guard. He stepped forward and bowed.

"Greetings, Lord Megatron," he said.

"And what do we have here?" Said Megatron.

"My name is Moonfire and I want to be a Decepticon."

xxxx

Across the room, the Autobots were more surprised than Megatron. They knew the true identity of the femme almost immediately, and yet they couldn't believe what they were seeing.

"_Moonfire?_" Ironhide whispered incredulously. "What's that maniac doin'?"

"I don't know, but I think it's working," Jazz replied.

xxxx

"And what assurance do I have that this isn't some kind of trick?" Megatron asked, as he looked the new arrival up and down, slowly and appraisingly.

Wingnut was doing a good job at maintaining his composure in spite of being thoroughly creeped out by the way the Decepticon was staring at him. But then he was counting on that. In fact it was crucial to his plan. Now came the hard part, which was playing up to that slight advantage.

"I brought you a gift, Lord Megatron," Wingnut said, attempting a shy smile before yanking the heavy chain, which trailed out into the hallway and out of sight. "To show my good intentions."

Murmurs of astonishment came from both sides when the battered yellow Volkswagen came into view. The Decepticons were surprised that someone managed to finally catch the little nuisance and the Autobots were outraged at the condition. Poor Bumblebee had been worked over but good…or had he?

"I don't believe it. Wingnut wouldn't do something like that," Wheeljack whispered to Ratchet.

"I don't think he did," said Ratchet.

"What?"

"I don't think that's really Bumblebee." In his position as medic, Ratchet knew the exteriors of his fellow Autobots about as well as they did themselves and something was definitely off here.

"I'm not following," Wheeljack said.

"Look closely at him. I don't think that's the right yellow."

"Hey! And I don't think the interior is the same."

"Easy, you two," Prowl said. The security expert had caught on right away and then it all made sense to him.

"What happened to him?" Megatron asked, intrigued. How many times had this pest eluded him only to be captured and apparently thrashed by a _femme_? On the other hand until a few moments ago she'd been an Autobot, so probably it hadn't been difficult to trap her former friend.

"The consequences of not cooperating with me when he had the chance," Wingnut said, with disdain. "He's alive but can't speak or transform."

"Oh really?" This was too much! He wasn't about to let an Autobot join their ranks, but there remained fun to be had in many ways before disposing of them all. "And why did you have the sudden urge to abandon your Autobot comrades? That's highly unusual."

"These are unusual circumstances," said Wingnut, casually. He knew the question was coming. Now he had to make the answer convincing. "But the reason I left is because I got tired of being treated like a second class 'bot!"

"Do tell."

Alright. He had to make this good. Wingnut, still holding the end of the chain, stepped forward and began pacing in front of the large cell where the other Autobots stood watching him closely. "With a war going on you'd think these guys would want all the help they could get, but no."

"I was merely concerned for your safety and - " Optimus Prime began.

"Shut up! You'll listen to me for once," Wingnut snapped. It was hard not to smile. So they had figured it out and now were helping to make his story more believable. Excellent.

"Concerned for my safety. Ha! As if Cybertron is any safer? No, we scrape by, barely surviving and having to stay hidden from the Decepticons while we do it. Instead we femmes should be here, fighting the real battle and if you're too stupid to see it, then I think I should join up with someone who's got a bit more vision." As he made the last statement he gathered his courage and went over to stand beside Megatron even going as far as to place a hand on his arm.

"The situation seems to worsen for you, doesn't it Prime?" Megatron gloated. "And now Moonfire, I think you and I need to discuss this further in private."

"Oh please!" Starscream said, unable to remain silent any longer. "You aren't seriously going to allow this, are you?

"What's the matter? You aren't afraid of being shown up are you?'

"Of course not."

"Perhaps you should be. Already she has accomplished more here on Earth than you have."

"That's the most ridiculous…" Starscream began and then changed the focus of his attack. "You there, _Moonfire_." He said the name with all the contempt he could get into his voice. "What did you do with the human? And what about that other Autobot who was supposed to be monitoring the perimeter?"

"I didn't see any human. He must have run away. As for Wingnut, that was more difficult, but I finally succeeded in running him off a cliff. He's scrap now."

"Is that so? And where was this?"

"Uh, it was a high canyon road about 50 Earth miles from here, but you won't find him."

"And why not?"

"Because after he crashed I made sure to bury him under about ten tons of rocks, that's why not."

"You need to learn to address me with some respect Autobot, furthermore - "

"Enough of this!" Megatron interrupted. "I am weary of your petty jealousies, Starscream. When you deserve respect, you will be treated that way. For now, shut up." And then he returned his attention to Wingnut. "Now my dear, come with me. We have much to… talk about."

Not anxious to be alone with Megatron, but also because the plan depended on it he made another request. "As you wish, but first may I have the privilege of locking Bumblebee up with the rest of them?"

"Certainly."

Wingnut dragged the imposter Bumblebee over to the cell and roughly shoved it through a temporary gap in the bars as a pair of Constructicons stood guard, weapons at the ready. He made optic contact with Jazz and gave him a tiny grin. He wished that he could wink like humans did when they were conveying a secret. Jazz gave him a nod that was almost imperceptible and then focused his attention on the others. Wingnut reluctantly joined Megatron and then the two of them left.

In order to keep up the charade, the Autobots swarmed over the car, speaking words of encouragement and carefully moving it to the rear of the enclosure. The real Bumblebee was still out there and that meant Wingnut wasn't on his own. At least, they all hoped he wasn't attempting a rescue single-handed. This hope was confirmed when Ratchet raised the hood on the car. On a real Volkswagen the engine was in the rear, but with an Autobot there were several important components housed in front and they needed to make it appear real. None of them were prepared for what they found. The interior of the trunk was lined with mismatched pieces of foam rubber and various pillows and nestled in the middle of this was Spike, sporting a motorcycle helmet and football pads for additional protection.

"What are you doing?" Wheeljack asked, trying hard to keep his voice down.

"Don't worry guys, we're going to get you out of here," said Spike.

* * *

"Yeah, this is it," Sparkplug whispered. As soon as Thundercracker and Skywarp left the entrance unguarded, he and Bumblebee ran inside the Ark. Their initial objective was a storage closet not far from the entrance. No one else was about and they easily made it. Inside the closet at floor level was a large vent that led to the main ventilation system. For the human it was like walking in a large hall. For Bumblebee it was a tighter squeeze but not unmanageable. They had to move slowly and quietly. The ventilation shaft followed the length of the main hall. It was tempting to stay and try to watch Wingnut's performance, but they needed to get moving and it was best to pass by while they were all distracted.

After a couple of miscalculations and one wrong turn, they found their true target: the weapons and ammunition room.

"Finally," said Bumblebee. "And it's better than we thought."

Sparkplug peered in the direction Bumblebee was pointing to see a large pile of blasters tossed haphazardly into the corner. Great! Now all they had to do was get all those to the rest of the Autobots so they would be ready when things fell into place. It wouldn't be easy. The first thing to do was find the ventilation shaft that went into the main control room. Once located, they could move all the weapons there and then move on to phase two.

Okay. You get everything in here and I'll go find the way into where the others are." Sparkplug said. He was smaller and quieter and could move around far more easily than his companion.

"Be careful," said Bumblebee.

"Don't worry about me, worry about Spike and Wingnut.

* * *

There was nothing like being a seeker when it came to getting somewhere fast, Starscream thought. Of course he was no mere rank and file soldier. He was the pride of the Cybertron War Academy. No one matched him for skill, speed or strength and certainly not intelligence. He should be the one in charge, not Megatron. If fortune were with him, this would be the last time he had bother with nonsense such as this. He did not trust the Autobot Moonfire. He hadn't seen her when he was on Cybertron rousting the other female Autobots out of their hiding place. And compared to them, she looked weird. She was much larger and not anywhere close to as sleek and streamlined. But then Megatron never was too picky when it came to that. Ugh. First the Nightbird debacle, and now this. However, Nightbird was a non-sentient human creation and Megatron had considered replacing the Air Commander with it. What would he do with this Autobot? If Starscream had his way, she would be executed with the rest. And the first part of making that happen would be to discredit her somehow.

He had gone out approximately 50 Earth miles and then began to circle around, searching for any canyon roads. He had found two and after a thorough visual search and sensor scan he had located no sign of the Autobot Wingnut. He continued until he was satisfied that there were no other fitting locations. Ah ha! She _was _lying. But to what end? And what did it matter? Starscream now had proof that something underhanded was going on. He would take that proof back to Megatron and the others and present it in such a way that would expose their leader for the fool he was. This was going to be fun.

* * *

"So you want to be a Decepticon, eh?" Megatron asked.

"If you'll allow it my Lord," Wingnut said, bowing his head deferentially. This was disgusting! His disgust, however, was overshadowed by nervousness. He had followed the Decepticon leader into Optimus Prime's office and took a seat as he was bidden and then watched as Megatron closed the door and walked over to seat himself behind the desk. He felt the sinister red optics on him. What had he gotten himself into?

"Let me ask you this: If Prime had let you fight here on Earth, would you have been content to remain an Autobot?" It wasn't that he cared, but he _was _curious. It was an extraordinarily rare event.

Frag! He hadn't considered that he would be interviewed for the position. Wingnut just assumed they would be happy to get another soldier for their side. The best idea he could come up with on such short notice was to tell Megatron what he wanted to hear, but only a more peaceful version. "For a while perhaps. I get impatient. Seriously, they could have achieved victory by now if they had seized the opportunities available to them."

"Such as?"

"For instance obtaining energon and the means to return home to Cybertron. This planet could easily provide both if they would take it. It could be done without harming humans. And if they insisted, they could make up for it later."

"You feel the humans should be treated as equals?" Megatron asked, his distaste for the idea obvious in his expression.

"No. I am merely saying that if one had qualms regarding the harm of humans, it is avoidable while still allowing the needed items to be collected."

Wingnut happened to glance down and managed to keep any sign of acknowledgment off his faceplate when he spotted Sparkplug waving at him from the opposite side of a grate in the ventilation system. Soon their plan would go into action.

* * *

Sparkplug was careful to remain silent as he continued on his way. For the most part it had been easy except for when he had entered a stretch of ventilation shaft that had no openings. It was pitch black and he had taken a tumble when it unexpectedly sloped downward. That was stupid of him, but he was afraid to use the flashlight he had brought for fear it would be noticed. It was a good thing he was at the bottom level of the ship. If he were further up, it would have been quite a fall. Eventually he came to a dead end and then realized it was actually a hard right turn. Success! He was now on the other side of the ship and headed where he needed to go.

There were numerous grates that faced darkened rooms but far down he saw dim light creating patterns on the floor. He tried to move as quickly as possible. There was no telling what had happened since they had last seen Wingnut. As he got closer to the first patch of light he heard the harsh rasp of Megatron's voice. It was a sound that simultaneously gave him chills and enraged him. As best he could tell, Megatron was questioning Wingnut but he wasn't angry. No, his tone would suggest he was toying with the Autobot somehow, but that wasn't entirely right. Whatever was on his mind, it made him sound even creepier than usual. Sparkplug made his way to the vent, carefully peering out until he determined it was safe to signal his friend. Upon doing so, he went on his way.

* * *

Humans were brave creatures, Optimus Prime thought. And yet they could also be foolhardy. In that way they often reminded him of young Autobots, possessing the best of intentions and too eager to put themselves into harm's way. Even so, it was a pretty good plan he had to admit that. Spike had informed them of what was going to take place, provided there were no unforeseen problems. He would have felt better if the majority of it hadn't hinged upon Wingnut. It was extremely dangerous and yet it appeared to be working.

He made sure that his troops kept up the pretense of caring for the fake Bumblebee as they waited. Jazz was designated to wait for any sign of Sparkplug and eventually he heard it: an extremely quiet hissing noise.

"Psssst!"

"Sparkplug?" Jazz said, quietly. He was sitting on the floor next to the vent and was mostly shielded from view by the Volkswagen shell and the others.

"Yeah, it's me. Are you all okay?"

"Right now everything's as cool as can be. Spike told us what you're doing and so far, the 'Cons don't have a clue."

"Good. Can you get this vent off before I get back?

"No problem. You leave that to us."

"Okay."

"Any idea how Wingnut's doing?"

"Yeah, I heard Megatron asking a lot of questions but he seemed to be in an awfully good mood. I don't know how to describe it, exactly."

Jazz had an idea but there wasn't time to go into it and why plant that disturbing thought in the man's mind? "Alright. You do your thing and we'll be ready."

"Gotcha."

* * *

Wingnut was starting to become more nervous than he'd been before. Megatron's questioning had gone on for what felt like ages. He had to focus so as not to make a fatal misstep when he answered but it was hard not to wonder how much progress Sparkplug and Bumblebee were making. He hadn't seen any more sign of the human and he'd forced himself to not show any further interest in that area of the room. If Megatron saw him repeatedly glancing there, he would catch on and they would be, as the humans said, "screwed." But even without a visual confirmation, he guessed that sufficient time had passed to where Sparkplug had made several more trips past the vent. Uh oh. Better pay attention, Megatron was getting up.

He walked over to the door. No lock. Leave it to Prime. Undoubtedly it was part of a ridiculous policy designed to foster a sense of unity and teamwork. No one is really above anyone else, or some such nonsense. It didn't really matter. His troops knew not to enter any room their leader occupied without an invitation if the door was closed. He turned back toward the Autobot traitor. Her design and construction were more… durable than he normally liked, but this was still a femme. It had been ages, literally millions of years since he'd had such an opportunity.

"You know, Moonfire, there are ways you can be useful besides fighting," Megatron said.

To his credit, Wingnut managed not to cringe at the suggestive tone the Decepticon was using. This particular aspect of Megatron's personality was what he had hinged his entire plan on. His need for conquest wasn't limited only to planets, although the end result was usually the same: A lot of damage if you were lucky and destruction if you weren't.

"You aren't going to relegate me to same standing as the Autobots are you?" Wingnut asked.

"Oh no. I have something far different in mind for you," Megatron said, walking behind his target, dragging a finger lightly across her shoulders.

"I'm afraid I don't understand," Wingnut said, getting to his feet and backing away a step or two.

"No? Then let me show you."

* * *

"Alright, that's the last of them," said Sparkplug. He had traversed the ducts multiple times, dragging various blasters behind him on a large cushiony piece of insulation that Bumblebee had removed from a crate of explosives.

"The others know what to do?"

"Yeah. They're ready." It was the next part that worried him. When the signal was given and as soon as he had the opportunity, Spike was going to escape between the charged bars of the cell and then free the Autobots. In theory it ought to work, but there were all kinds of dangerous possibilities. He would have to hope for the best and concentrate because his job wasn't finished.

"So are _we_ all set?" Sparkplug asked.

"I've got a crate of timed charges here. All we have to do is set them and wait. We'll plant a couple of these and then we'll hopefully decoy them away long enough for the others to escape."

"Okay. Let's go."

* * *

This was going to be great. The Ark was in sight and Starscream descended sharply before transforming and landing.

"Where have you been?" Skywarp asked.

"I've been off checking on the authenticity of the Autobot femme's story."

"And?" Thundercracker asked. The answer was one that Megatron wouldn't like judging by the smirk on Starscream's faceplate.

"Come with me. I want everyone to hear this."

"Are you sure that's such a great idea, there Screamer?" Skywarp asked. His wingmate's proclamations never ended without violence. On the other hand, that sometimes made them good for a laugh.

"Yeah, and besides, we're supposed to be on guard," Thundercracker added.

"I think it's a wonderful idea. Furthermore, I _order_ you to follow me." Their doubts were taking up his valuable time and he didn't want to be delayed further. "In fact, after this, I am the only one you'll all be taking orders from."

"Riiiiiiiiiight," Skywarp muttered so low only Thundercracker heard him.

* * *

"Megatron, sir, perhaps I haven't been clear as to my intentions," Wingnut said, hastily moving sideways attempting to put the desk between him and the Decepticon. This wasn't what he had in mind at all. Or rather he hadn't intended it to go this far.

"What you appear to be unaware of is that I don't care about _your_ intentions," Megatron said with a sneer as he feinted to the right and then moved back to his left with amazing speed, grabbing Wingnut's arm and dragging him forward.

"No! Wait…ACK!" The mech's pleas were cut off abruptly when he was slammed on his back onto the desk, scattering various objects and breaking others.

"Now I'll show what I - " Megatron began and was cut off when the door was kicked open.

"Well isn't this just typical?" A voice asked. From his position on the desk, the Autobot couldn't see the visitor but he knew that smug, screechy tone.

"STARSCREAM! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" Megatron roared, releasing Wingnut.

"What a true leader should!"

How fortuitous. Wingnut didn't know if it would work, but he would try to take advantage of the confusion.

"Starscream am I glad to see you!" He said, squirming to get upright again and then running to the other mech as if for protection.

"You soon won't be," Starscream replied and then shoved Wingnut into the hall where the other Decepticons had gathered upon hearing the commotion. Instinctively they formed a loose circle around the newcomer as they watched the goings on in the office.

"I demand an explanation for this intrusion!" Said Megatron.

"While you were wasting time on your sordid little pleasures, I was out discovering the truth about this so called traitor."

"What are you babbling about?"

"Yes, she claims to have destroyed the Autobot responsible for guarding the perimeter but I went searching for the remains and there is no sign of him. If she is lying about that, then what else isn't she telling us?"

"How do you answer the allegations Moonfire?" Megatron asked.

Oh sweet Primus, was he in a world of trouble. Wingnut was unsure how to answer. Should he answer at all? Now might be the instance to make a run for it but he couldn't bail without his friends.

"Alright, it was like this - " he began.

"Who cares how she answers?" Starscream interrupted. "The point here is that anyone who allows this kind of security breach is unfit to rule."

"Ah ha! I knew it. You owe me three energon cubes," Rumble muttered to Frenzy.

"I hear ya." Frenzy said, when inspiration struck. "Double or nothin' he doesn't go on for more than a thousand astroseconds before the boss kicks his aft.

"You're on."

Starscream was gearing up for one of his usual rants but didn't get far when there was a bright orange flash and resounding BOOM.

* * *

"Alright Spike, here's your chance," said Prowl, as he anxiously watched the door.

The human didn't bother to reply. Instead he carefully slid outward between the glowing bars. When he reached the halfway point, he felt tingly all over and knew if he so much as grazed one of the bars the end result would be similar to when a mosquito flew into one of those blue bug zapper lights like his father had installed on their patio. It didn't take long to get clear and then he was sprinting across the floor headed toward the controls for the cell.

Huffer kept a lookout both for Spike and the other Autobots as the blasters brought to them by Sparkplug were distributed.

xxxxx

Out in the hall, confusion temporarily reigned. But in the usual Decepticon fashion, it wasn't long before blame was assigned.

"You! You're the one responsible for this!" Starscream shrieked at Wingnut.

"How? I haven't -," Wingnut began when another explosion knocked them all off their feet.

"Shut up, Starscream! It's obvious we have intruders," Megatron said, as he glanced all around him hunting for the cause of the blasts. Everyone was out in the hall and yet no one could see…. Everyone! With cold fury Megatron recognized the distraction for what it was. They were all out here and no one was guarding the prisoners.

"Soundwave! See to the prisoners!"

"Yes, Megatron," Soundwave replied. He took two steps before he was knocked backward by the remains of a yellow Volkswagen that came flying out of the smoke. It was quickly followed by their former prisoners.

"Autobots, attack!" Optimus ordered.

"Wait! Aren't you forgetting that we have a hostage? Or do you not care about the fate of the femme?" Megatron asked. It had not escaped his notice that she hadn't acted the least bit interested in attacking the other Autobots and he knew they would never abandon one of their own regardless of the circumstance. He was surprised when his nemesis chuckled.

"You mean you haven't figured it out?" Optimus asked.

"Figured out what?" He hated it when Prime acted smug that way. It never ever came out to his advantage.

"What he means is you've been tricked in more ways than one, big fella," Wingnut said, in his normal voice. The expression of surprise on the Megatron's face was priceless.

"And you will pay for it with your miserable life!"

Before Megatron could bring the fusion cannon up to a firing position, he found himself flat on the floor as laserfire hit him from a completely unexpected direction. Further down the hallway, Bumblebee saw what was taking place and waited for perfect opportunity to strike. The shot wouldn't kill Megatron, but it would be an excellent distraction.

Wingnut saw his chance and transformed. The process further shattered the illusion he had created by shearing off all the extra sheet metal Sparkplug and Spike had carefully welded into place. His tires screamed as they spun on the metal floor before catching hold and propelling him down the hall to reinforce Bumblebee's position. Megatron was temporarily stunned to inaction by what he saw. Moonfire, or whatever the Autobot's name was, was a mech. He had been about to …with a _mech_. Starscream, too, was shocked by what he saw but his reaction was different. The air commander could barely stand he was laughing so hard. He didn't care that they were almost caught in a crossfire and that they would surely be driven from the Ark and that the Autobots wouldn't be gentle in running them out. No, Megatron's mortification made it all worth it.

* * *

It was a short battle. The Decepticons put up a fight until it became painfully obvious that they were not going to overcome their tactical disadvantage. Megatron swore revenge and then called for a retreat.

The smoke cleared and revealed a lot of damage, most of which was confined largely to the big hallway.

"Is everyone alright?" Optimus Prime asked. When he was satisfied that there were no serious injuries he walked over to where Bumblebee and Wingnut were standing with Spike and Sparkplug.

"That was one of the bravest things I've ever seen, but also one of the riskiest," he said. He was proud of them but when he thought about the number of ways it could have backfired….

"Don't blame them, Optimus. It was all my idea. And it was my fault you guys were captured in the first place," said Wingnut.

"Your idea?"

Wingnut only nodded.

"Hey, don't be too hard on him. He may have came up with the plan, but he didn't have to twist anyone's arm to get them in on it," Sparkplug said.

"That's right. I'd do it again if I had to," said Bumblebee.

"Me too," added Spike.

"Wait a minute, you're telling us that _you_ came up with the entire scheme?" Ironhide asked. He was suitably impressed, first with the sheer nerve required for the whole endeavor, and then the fact that Wingnut masterminded it. He was starting to think that he had misjudged him. In fact, he was certain of it.

"You gotta tell us the whole story from the beginning," Ironhide said, placing a friendly hand on Wingnut's shoulder and steering him toward the command center.

"Sure, but I didn't do it alone. C'mon guys, you saved my pork too."

"Bacon, Wingnut, not pork," Spike advised.

"Oh. Well anyway, I couldn't have done it without you."

Optimus watched as the others followed them. He didn't mind Ironhide absconding with Wingnut and the others. Actually he was pleased. It took a set of bizarre circumstances and a phenomenal amount of danger but it looked as if he had finally found his niche. The mech got moving. He didn't want to miss any of the story.

The End.

Author's Note Continued: Really, I don't think of them as having actual genders like organics. I think of it more as a model style like coupes and sedans in the automotive world. But the way the old cartoon worked kind of suggested they did and I needed it to make the plot work. I hope you liked it.


End file.
